|With a mixture of wonder and bemusement Mpunzi Shezi watched
the white people build the very first square house ever seen in
Zululand. Like all the others, he had wanted to go to see what happened
inside this house. But, they were told that they had to dress up
nicely. So Shezi and the rest of them took off their skins and put on
white men's clothes to go inside this house.
Now, he went inside the building - which historians later determined to be a church - and he records in his diary that they told sub-standard stories about ancestors - pretty violent ancestors nailing people to crosses and all sorts of stuff.
But they used to pass a plate around at the end and collect money. And Shezi thought to himself, “If these people can come all this way and tell such shit stories and still get money, then surely I too can do that.” So Mpunzi Shezi took a giraffe leg bone and went to Japan to tell stories about the Zulu cattle industry and he also took a gargantuan pearl oyster and told them about the Zulu black pearl industry. And that is how he ended up in Japan, by default becoming one of the first Zulu missionaries. He took ubuntu to the Buddhists, brought Zen back to the Zulus, studied Tantric sex with the geishas and taught his dog to meditate so he didn't have to bother with the difficult subject himself.
After a year in Japan Mpunzi Shezi Travelled to India where he filmed the Coronation of King George the fifth. Later He werked in the Kitchen of the Masonic lodge in Bombay where his interest in Food was aroused. He then travelled to Goa, Cochin and Ponducherry to learn Portugese. Kosher and French methods of cooking. Mpunzi Shezi manufactured fireworks, mail rockets, built an early radio and even practised vibartional healing in Ootacamund